should i let him go?

3rd post for today. I am stressed.

I am broken heart.
(supposed to)
Today my friend told me that you know who now is close with few girls.
I ask him to go online and confirm.
He said yes, some more he also mentioned all d girls’ name who r close with him rite now.
Yah… a bit disappointed. But i dun have right to feel so.
He is nobody for me. I am also nobody for him.

Very sad. But cannot cry.
What did he mean by his kindness to me until now?
Make me confused.
Should i continue walk on my path? Shouldl i leave you behind?
I do really hope we can walk in d same path. But i think not for now.
Let’s see d future.

innocent until proven guilty

These days i have been too talkative.
Maybe i need to stop talking for awhile.
Back to my previous image lor, mysterious. Hehehe.
but actually i need to stop talking about one topic only.
My friend oledi complain about that.
I also better not knowing too much. Later i cannot keep it and spread to other people accidentally.
Know nothing is better. Hahah.

I actually dun mind to tell my frd abt me, my feeling, my condition. It’s not a secret.
My devil side. hoho.
but some of them maybe consider it as a secret, and they want to keep it as a… secret forever, is up to them.

One thing i prefer is if someone tells me to do instrospection of my fault. better he/she tells me also what is my fault(s), when did i do that, to whom i did that.
Make it CLEAR and don’t talk in a planet language. So that easy for me to digest. Please make it simple and to the point.. I will simply accept it if i am really proven wrong or guilty. But if you cannot state what is my fault, then i still remain innocent. Haha..

I’m innocent until proven guilty.

insecure

I feel insecure.
He is there, i am here.
Distance.
Make me keep thinking about this relationship.
Distance makes me difficult to keep my relationship close with him.
It’s easier for another girls around him to catch his eyes and also his heart.
But, i cannot do many things.
It’s up to him. What he wants to do.
I only can try my best to maintain our relationship.
I do really worry if one day another girl will steal his heart.
Why must there is a distance between us?
I know i can learn to trust him.
No, I trust God will take care of him for me if he is for me.
Sometimes i feel like he likes me..

pity!

Don’t pity me!
I dun like if anyone look at me and pity me.
I like being my self.
Just now had my colleague came to my desk and chit chat with me. Then long time i never talk to him.
I just listen what he said la. I felt weird and wondered why suddenly he came and chatted with me.
Then finally i found out he talked to me just because he felt pity that NOBODY talked to me since his beloved one went to JI.
I hate this.
He doesnt need to talk with me just because he feels pity on me.
But i appreciate his initiative. I know he just tries to be nice only.
sometime that makes me feel uncomfortable.
I feel sad.

tiring

Each time i finished CG i feel very bad mood.
Maybe because it’s already late nite and i’m really tired.
Then what i want is i want to reach home as soon as possible. BUT! All of ‘em walk very slowwwwww one and still busy chit chat nothing.
I’m very angry. Then i walk fast myself to MRT. Then board to the first mrt i can board in. I leave them tonite. They all are very slow. I’m not patient enough to wait for them.

Then tomolo i am LAZY to meet Ming & Ai.
I dun want to settle this problem first. What i need to do is to cool down myself.
Actually these days i am really lazy to do anything. If can i just want to QUIT from all of this. I am tired.
I am tired with my life. I am tired with what i am doing now.
I am tired doing what i dun want to do. WHY am i doing all of this? What is d purpose.
I know i remember my vision. But sometime i also feel tired to run after my vision.
Can i take a break for awhile?
I’m always in a bad mood if i am tired.
Tired… and bored.

daily life

I feel bored.
Yesterday i went to far east to eat @ Sakura thai restaurant. alone.
Then i feel eat alone sometime nice oso.
Usually i always tapao if have nobody accompany me eat. But yestd i’m lazy to tapao, so i eat there loh.

Yesterday i went to Wheelock place to collect my phone that hang. The CS was very iritating because i use another brand for the MMC card. then keep saying this MMC is not compatible with the phone.
Well maybe he was correct lah, I use 2Gb mmc.

Yestd is very busy but today is so bored. Because nothing to do.. not as busy as yesterday. so i feel a bit bored. And the clock walk so slow.
But i can use the time to search game for ice breaker. Hehee… Got 2 games to play later. ^_^
Then i oledi killing time by chit chat nonsense with my friends. Horray finnally only left one hour to go home.

I miss my friends in Jakarta a lot. I want to hang out together with them again. Gossiping. Eat a lot, sleep a lot, watch movie a lot, shopping a lot. haha.
later i find topic to write another post.
Now dun have idea to write.

kiddy bedsheet

Today i buy a new pink (again) bed sheet. and yellow quilt cover. I buy in Aussino. They got discount 50% and 60%. Quite cheap. And nice compared to Ikea’s.
but when i want to pay the sales ask me whether i oledi have taken a look in 2nd floor shop. Then i said, i have taken a look there, but i didn’t like the printing. Then she looked at me with a strange face. Because i buy the bed sheet for kids one.
Very nice one. Later if i got my hp back, i’ll post d picture.
My hp is under service. hix.
For few days i cannot take picture. So sad.

hdd R.I.P

My HDD rest in peace. R. I. P. on April 19, 2007.
Today is a bad day i ever had.
My PC in office died. Not my pc actually. I just use it for 1 mth only.
BUT! I store all d reports there. Then suddenly when i had my lunch today… my monitor showed me a nice blue screen. Then my colleague asked me to restart d pc.
After i restarted d pc, it couldnt log in to windows. Then couldnt detect d harddisk.
Oledi tried so many things, first we thought the cable loose or wat. then tried to tighten d cable. Then still cannot.
2nd maybe the cable spoilt. then tried to change cable. still no response. Then tried the secondary hdd. CAN!
Tat means d primary one is totaly DEAD!
Must say bye2 to d poor harddisk. Sayonara. Hix. Hix.
It dies because of heart attactk! *_*
Never informed before, nver gave warning to me. Y so suddenly.
Y must after i finished all reports modification then die and bring all my reports go to hell.
Huhuhuhu.
Dear all readers, please mourn together with me. T_T
But actually i’m not really that sad. Although i need to redo all again, i still feel optimistics that i can do it fast.

Then another bad thing is.. This starhub internet. I dunno why these days the connection was not stable one. Always on/off.
GrrrrRRrrrrr…. very angry!
always show me d page “Host cannot accessible!”
Haizzz….

But although today i have so many bad news.
I still have a good news lah.
At least… ehehehhe…
Well, in the end of May, you know who, will come to Singapore.
Tat means i can meet him soon, no need to wait until next year when i go back to Indo again.
Then he said not only may, but in July he will come again.
Well that’s good. I hope this plan won’t be changed anymore. Make it fixed one.
Then i ask him to book and confirm the tickets soon. So that he cannot cancel this trip. Hehehe..

Ok. That’s all i think for today.

iritating.

Today my friend tells me something iritating.
Hix.
Her crush (still) pays her a visit every weekend.
This what i can’t have now. I only can chat with my crush by messenger. Or sometime can send sms oso. But can’t meet him.
Maybe once a yr lor then can meet.

How to choose your life partner:
Choose the one u can’t live without than choose the one u can live with.

bored

BORED ~